Randomness

So I was just eating this donut, right? It was one of those, uh, creme-filled deals, you know, with white icing and some, uh, chocolate sprinkles on the top- a Krispy Kreme. And so I'm eating this donut and I'm watching this movie, not really paying much attention...and, and I got some milk there too, and then...I just bite into it and it tastes really slimy and so I look down and it's got this chocolate filling.
It was so weird.

Me: You can call me a little later, or you can call me a lot later. Heck, you can call me whatever you want.
James: Alright. Later then, toaster oven.
Me: Later, sugar muffin.

Today, this girl at work went out of her way to tell our boss that I wasn't doing my job well.
Then, the boss and I both had a good laugh.

Matt: What do you call those things that grow on trees? Oh, flowers!

Do you remember a few years ago when the mass media discovered everything caused cancer?

I do dumb things sometimes.
However, renting Van Helsing was totally James's idea.

My toenails are red- very come hither.

I always get June and July mixed up. Even when someone gives me a date, I have to think about whether it's this month or next.

That's why I didn't come to your party.

Some people think bellybuttons are gross.
I think they're fascinating.

Matthew and I watched The Prince and Me.

Dear Kate,
Even your mistakes are beautiful.
Love, Britta

PS I have your Ramones CD.

It's really hard to fake a personality.

"You're an ass, man" sounds like "you're an ass man."
That's why commas are important.

Monty Python's Flying Circus, Episode 5
Salesman: (knocks on door) Burglar! Burglar! (Woman opens door.)
Woman: Yes?
Salesman: Burglar, madam.
Woman: What do you want?
Salesman: I want to come in and steal a few firings, madam.
Woman: Are you an encyclopedia salesman?
Salesman: No, madam. I'm a burglar; I burgle people.
Woman: I think you're an encyclopedia salesman.
Salesman: Oh, I'm not. Open the door. Let me in please.
Woman: If I let you in, you'll sell me encyclopedias.
Salesman: I won't, madam. I just want to come in and ransack the flat, honestly.
Woman: Promise? No encyclopedias?
Salesman: None at all.
Woman: Alright. (opens door) You'd better come in then.
(Salesman enters.)
Salesman: Mind you, I don't know whether you've really considered the advantages of owning a really fine set of modern encyclopedias. You know, they can really do you wonders.
(Scene cuts to a man at a desk.)
Man: That man was a successful encyclopedia salesman, but not all encyclopedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopedia salesman. (Scene cuts to a body flying out of a high window and then back to the man at the desk.)
Man: Now here are two unsuccessful encyclopedia salesmen. (Scene cuts to two bodies flying out of a high window and then back to the man at the desk.)
Man: I think there's a lesson there for all of us.


Lesson, indeed.

The trick to being a girl is to always feel very emotional about something without knowing what it is, why you feel that way, or how to stop.

"Well, some people try to pick up girls and get called assholes. This never happened to Pablo Picasso. He could walk down your street, and girls could not resist his stare and so Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole." -Pablo Picasso, Modern Lovers

Nothing terribly interesting happened today.

Congrats to our first entrant into the Britta Hall of Lame!

Kate: If you ever fight a girl you're not sure about, just grab her hair and hold on. Then you can do anything.

Because Humi told me to:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

I tried, but the three closest books to me don't have 123 pages, the fourth has doesn't have 5 sentences on page 123, and the fifth book said, "Mr. Yadin, the head of a more recent Jewish army, who has edited this work for the Hebrew University, claims to be able to find in its basic strategy correspondences with the Roman army manuals of the day, whilst others have thought that, althought it reflects a genuine method of warfare, it might be more akin to the Maccabean practices."
I suck at this game.

"Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of His, and give thanks at the rememberance of His holiness. For His anger endureth but a moment; in His favor is life. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Psalms 30:4-5 KJV

I love reading the messages on Baptist church signs. So far, I think my favorite is "Stop, drop, and roll doesn't work in hell."

Me: Would you date her?
Matt: Possibly.
Kate & Me: She's a crack whore!
Matt: She gave me peanuts.
Kate: Is that all it takes?!
Matt: Well, yeah.

My coworker blames all things on El Nino.

Photography on roller skates.

Yesterday I forgot to put the buns in the "poofer" before I baked them, producing two dozen little bread-like hockey pucks.
We threw them all away, except one, because then we realized they hurt when thrown at people.

Jenn & Thom was like this thing that everyone hoped for but no one really expected to happen...like world peace.

Hummus is not only scrumptious, but it makes me feel hip just eating it.

I can't think of a fate worse than family vacations.