Friday, July 29, 2005
I'm moving to a new apartment, but the cable guy isn't coming until next week.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Sometimes I have really bad good ideas- like extra large milkshakes.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Did you know some people are grossed out by condensation?
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
I think it's impossible to chew gum and whistle simultaneously, but I've been practicing.
Customer #1: Can I get a 6" ham on white?
me: What else would you like on that?
Customer #1: Just mustard and lettuce.
Customer #2: (to #1) What are you- a FAGGOT?!
Customer #1: Yeah, and some oregano.
me: What else would you like on that?
Customer #1: Just mustard and lettuce.
Customer #2: (to #1) What are you- a FAGGOT?!
Customer #1: Yeah, and some oregano.
Now all we need is a name.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Dear emo kid,
I saw you last night at the Hot Hot Heat show. You were smiling.
whothefuckdoyouthinkyouare,
Britta
I saw you last night at the Hot Hot Heat show. You were smiling.
whothefuckdoyouthinkyouare,
Britta
Sunday, July 17, 2005
me: Can I be brutally honest?
James: Yeah.
me: I hate this shirt.
James: Why?!!
me: (pokes fingers through holes)
James: Well, I won't stop wearing it!!!
James: Yeah.
me: I hate this shirt.
James: Why?!!
me: (pokes fingers through holes)
James: Well, I won't stop wearing it!!!
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Did you know some people fold their underwear?
Today is France's independence day.
I celebrated with a french toast poptart.
I celebrated with a french toast poptart.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
I'm really very messy on the inside.
Daddy Scoob and I used to have this game where we'd point to each other's toes and try to name the piggies as fast as we could, and then after we got really good, we tried with our eyes closed.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
me: Who's initials are 'TC'?
Renata: I don't know.
me: Oh, teriyaki chicken! Good one, Chris.
Renata: I don't know.
me: Oh, teriyaki chicken! Good one, Chris.
Crying is a learned behavior for manipulation.
Monday, July 11, 2005
There's a roach in my room, and he's not afraid of me.
What's the alternative to real estate?
Saturday, July 09, 2005
me: Where did you get the -12 from?
Professor Novak: Is it in your notes? Are you a delinquent?! (points at me) YES, YOU ARE!!
...and that was our second class.
Professor Novak: Is it in your notes? Are you a delinquent?! (points at me) YES, YOU ARE!!
...and that was our second class.
Friday, July 08, 2005
If anyone's up for Guess Who?, I'm already on my way.
James: I used to be a cynic, but then it got trendy.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
James: Don't think of it as your first day in a scary, new place. Think of it as an opportunity to make new friends!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
I miss you like ninjitsu.
Chlamydia would be a really pretty name if it weren't a venereal disease.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Sometimes my boss calls me early in the morning to ask if I'm coming to work later.
ISTJ.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Ricky: Why are my initals on the tomatoes? I didn't cut those! I wasn't even here that day!
Chris: Oh, I cut those. I thought the 'RT' stood for red tomatoes.
Chris: Oh, I cut those. I thought the 'RT' stood for red tomatoes.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Donna: ...and by the way guys, I know I crashed in on poker night kinda, and that the "boys" were hanging out, but that is no excuse for your buddy Scott to refer to me as "Big Titties" and poke my breasts with a pencil whenever I'm not looking.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Many people are haunted by memories of student-faculty basketball games.
I just added another month to my Previous Posts list.
