Randomness

I hate picking out birthday cards. They're all really dumb or say the wrong thing. Instead, I go into a card shop and find the most random card possible (Anniversary, Bar Mitzfah, Yom Kippur, etc.) and just write Happy Birthday inside. At least that way, they know you mean it.

I bet stretch jeans were the brain child of the belt industry.

Cleaning is just taking a lot of junk from visible, flat surfaces and cramming them in less visible places.

Un jour sans Jeremy est un jour sans soleil.

At least the rain helps me appreciate the sun that much more.

People have a dangerous way of disregarding reason in order to retain hope

There's nothing quite like singing along to a song really loudly around a bunch of people when the music unexpectedly stops.

I bet this is how Rice Krispies were invented:
Mad Scientist #1: Eureeka! I have discovered a way to puff rice!
Mad Scientist #2: Ingenious! ...but what are you going to do with that?
Mad Scientist #1: Well, uh, I guess we could eat it.
Mad Scientist #2: Hmm.. needs flavor.
Mad Scientist #1: Well, we could, uh.. eureeka! Sugared puffed rice!
Mad Scientist #2: Hmm.. makes me thirsty.
Mad Scientist #1: Here, have some milk.
Mad Scientist #2: Oh, why thank.. oops!
Mad Scientist #1: You've ruined my precious puffed rice! All is lost!
Mad Scientist #2: No, no! It still tastes fine! Here, try it!
Mad Scientist #1: Hmm.. sugared puffed rice in milk! Eureeka!
Mad Scientist #2: See, I told you so!
Mad Scientist #1: It's so good, it's almost surreal!
Mad Scientist #2: Cer-e-al?
Mad Scientist #1: Yes, that's what we'll call it!
Mad Scientist #2: Cereal?

People will buy anything if it's expensive enough. I think the impulsive spending of money just perpetuates stupidity in people.

Take the Birkenstock conspiracy for example. It all started when one kid went out and decided to pay a hundred dollars for some ugly sandals...
Kid's friends: Wow, those are some ugly sandals.
Kid: Yeah, well, they are expensive, ugly sandals.
Kid's friends: You paid a lot of money for those?
Kid: Yeah, well,uh.. but they're comfortable!
Kid's friends: Really now?
Kid: Yes, they are more comfortable than any other shoe in the entire world! All other brands are shamefully inferior to the comfort of my Birkenstock!
So, the kid's friends all go out and buy Birkenstocks, but when they find out that the Birkenstock is just another shoe, they start to feel a little foolish, but then they attempt to justify their purchase to others, who then go out and buy their own Birkenstocks. It just perpetuates itself like that.
I know; I was a victim myself.

I think shins were appropriately named.

I hate shopping for toothpaste. There are just too many choices! Should I go for tartar control or whitening? added baking soda or Scope? cool mint or wintergreen? It's just too much!

Sometimes you meet these people for what seems like a moment, and in that moment they can change your entire perspective on life...

Automatically flushing toliets are so annoying

We finally decided on names for the fish Friday..
Today we flushed Jason (aka big meathead).

Why do they attach extra buttons to shirts? Do they expect us to keep all those buttons until they fall off? Are they trying to tell us something?

Why does blue have a flavor? For example, you go to Sonic, and they have slushies in cherry, strawberry, lemon, lime, etc., and ocean water..? Your instincts tell you that it tastes blue, right? Well, it does actually taste blue.. although it doesn't taste like anything that happens to be blue..? Why is that?

Jeremy is like a song I can't seem to get out of my head. It's almost annoying how I can't concentrate on anything else, but it's just so beautiful and unique that I want to sing it outloud for everyone.

Last night at church, they were preaching about being thankful for all the things you have.
Afterwards, some kids broke into my roommate's car and stole all our stuff. Ironic, huh?

Today in Chemistry we learned why a diamond doesn't evaporate.
(Thousands of tax dollars paid for this education.)

People do the funniest things when they think no one is watching...

I think it would be awesome to have a bacterial pathogen named after me. I would call it Deadlia brittanyius.

My computer and I got in a fight today.. I said "yes," and it said "no" so it crashed on me. I just knew it was laughing at me as it restarted; it knew it had won this round. I threatened it with physical abuse- throwing the harddrive down the stairs, impaling the monitor with a broomstick, etc. It just kept laughing at me! It knew I'd never go through with it; we'd both lose that way. As I restarted all my programs, cursing my inability to save at decent intervals, my computer started slowing down... wayyyy down. It wanted to crash again! "Fine! I'll just install Linux!" It hasn't given me any trouble since...

Never underestimate the power of shiny, colorful objects

I don't think I'll ever truly get crunchy peanut butter...
It's like they're trying to remind you of what it's really made of. I just don't trust it.

Don't ever try to argue that fish are really meat with a Catholic.. you won't get anywhere

My roommate and I got fish. We haven't named them yet. I just know they'll die as soon as we name them..

There's no feeling even comparable to the realization that you're home.

A part of me will always belong in Hartsville...